8 Unconventional Tips to Become the Man Women Crave

If you’re not getting the results you want with women, the reason for that ultimately starts and ends with the black man in the mirror. One way or another, you have a poor self-image which is causing you to act in ways which aren’t conducive to you being in women’s beds, DMs, or hearts, and it’s just that simple,

Here I’ll give you some exercises that will transform your self-image and, by a knock-on effect, your dating life.

Do you want women to give a crap about you and want you around? To go back to your place after the first date and be eager for a second? To want you to be their boyfriend over the legions of men sliding into perpetually sliding into their DMs? This is for you.

Let’s get to it.

You ready?

Here come the pain!

1 – Know who the hell you are

A man needs to know exactly who he is and what he stands for. That explicit knowledge of one’s life arc creates the strong energy women (and people in general) find compelling. You can’t stand up for your principles if you haven’t got a clue of what said principles are. You can’t be assertive if you don’t know what you want. And, you can’t call someone out for their bad behaviour if you don’t know your idea of good behaviour.

So let’s find out who you are. Here’s what I want you to do:

Write out four lists, and take your time with them

First list – everything you like

And I literally mean everything. List everything you can think of that you like in some way. Don’t edit or censor yourself; accurately list everything you appreciate in the world or in people.

Second list – everything you don’t like

This is the exact opposite of the first list. Write out every single thing you can think of that you don’t like.

Third list – everything you’re good at

What skills do you have? What have people ever said you’re good at? Write everything you can think of, and don’t censor yourself. Nothing is too silly to list.

Fourth list – everything you’re not good at

What are you not good at? What can’t you do well? List all that’s stuff in this list

These lists will give you direction and purpose in life

These lists will feature things you could and should be centring your life around. If you hate selfish people and love creativity, cut selfish people out and seek out giving people, creative people and creative pursuits. Not only will knowing what you do and don’t stand for make you happier, but it will also resonate with others. They’ll realise they need to achieve specific standards to keep your attention. This will make them respect you more and want to make the grade.

As a result of this exercise, you’ll also better understand what you should be doing with your time. Maybe you love archery and are good at writing? If that’s true, perhaps an archery blog will be up your street. Maybe you love dancing but suck at it? You might enjoy a dance class.

Once you know what you like and don’t like, start consciously enforcing it. The more you practise living up to your ideals, the more assertive you’ll naturally be. Also, the more of a fulfilling and purposeful life you lead, the happier and more attractive you’ll be to women, I promise you.

I grabbed this from Pexels.com

2 – Become the ideal you

There’s a saying that you are what you think about, which is incredibly accurate. The thoughts you have, more often than not, are those that dominate your reality. So we need you to turn your thoughts (and actions) towards the kind of man you want to be. But to do that, you need to decide exactly who that man is.

• What is he like?
• How does he speak?
• How does he move?
• How does he interact with people?
• And how do they respond to him?

Write out his traits, and once you’re done, I want you to look at that list every day and consciously try to live like him. Buy the clothes he wears, do the hobbies he enjoys, and interact with people the way he does. Literally, try and become this man.

I also want you to imagine yourself as him every night

When you’re lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, visualise yourself as the best version of yourself. Imagine yourself going through life as that dude and having his experience.

Doing so will drill his characteristics into your subconscious and give you a much-needed boost when you feel low and like quitting. This is a powerful technique used by world champion athletes, actors, CEOs, and anybody who’s made a substantial change in their lives.

Watch the video below to see Kobe Bryant talking about how he used this principle to become one of the greatest basketball players of all time

And, as I said before, I want you to make a firm decision to act like the ideal version of you at all times. From now on, when faced with a situation, you’ll ask, “What would the ideal me do?” And then do whatever the answer is.

3 – Spend 15 minutes per day telling yourself you’re the absolute man

Here’s something I do every day that you will too if you want to cultivate unstoppable levels of self-confidence. I’m talking about affirmations; they work amazingly well, so dive in and do them passionately.

Basically, you’ll stand alone in your room (or wherever) and speak with endless zeal about how amazing of a person you are. You’re going to take traits of the ideal version of you and talk them into reality like they’re already real. You’ll say things like:

• I’m a sexy mother fucker
• I fear no man
• I radiate powerful energy that beats into the chests of all who feel it
• Women fucking love me
• I’m exceptionally creative
• Whenever I see a woman I like, I approach her with no fear whatsoever

And whatever else comes to mind. Now, so we’re clear; when I say you’re gonna say this with passion, I mean that. Say it like your life depends on it. Say it with every last fibre of your being.

The reason for this is that you can reprogram the subconscious with pure emotion, and by spending so much time doing that every day, you’ll eventually start to believe what the fuck you’re saying.

Is this exercise a lot of hard work? Yeah, it really is, it’s not easy at all, which is why almost nobody has the strength of character to get it done, but it’s also damn effective, which is why it’ll pay dividends if you do it.

Image comes from Pexels.com

4 – Face your darkness like a man

This will probably scare you when you do it, but trust me, the discomfort you’ll feel is proportionate to the benefit it’ll give you. What I want you to do is sit and dive into your painful emotions when you experience them.

We, as people, tend to ignore horrible and painful feelings. We drink alcohol to suppress them, watch TV to ignore them, go out with friends, and do any number of things to stop ourselves from looking deeply at the person in the mirror, and that’s not good.

However, our emotions are similar to the oil light in a car. When the vehicle needs its oil changed, the light will flash and continue to do so until it’s changed.

Ignoring the flashing light won’t do a damn thing, and your emotions are the same. You must dive into this pain and misery to overcome the regrets, insecurities, and hurts that stop you from being the person you want to be with women. So what I want you to do is this:

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5 – Spend time every day alone with yourself

Do this frequently, especially when you feel upset. The times when you’re upset are the absolute best to do this sort of work because that’s when your fears and insecurities have come to the surface.

Sit with them. Sit with the feeling and let it wash over you. Ask yourself why you feel bad. Ask yourself what the emotion is telling you and what life changes you need to make because of it. If you feel sad, feel the sadness and cry until it’s gone.

If you feel angry, grab a pillow and punch the shit out of it until you’re exhausted and feel a million bucks. Do this whenever you feel negative emotions and work them out of your system. The net effect will be you feeling happy as punch and bursting with confidence.

The video below features Aubrey Marcus talking about the week he spent in a completely black room with only his thoughts for company. It was the most transformational experience of his life and if you spend time alone with your thoughts you can expect similar results.

6 – Write a list of things about you that are awesome

Write a list of all your positive points and add to it daily. If you run out of ideas, ask people who know you for feedback. Keep this up, and you’ll see yourself in a new light.

When you approach a woman, your insecurities come to the forefront of your mind, making you so scared. If you think you’re a great guy, you’ll act in a way which will encourage her to believe it too. But, if you think you’re a loser, you’ll act in a way which inspires her to agree with you. By constantly reminding yourself about why you’re fantastic, you’ll slowly fill your mind with those facts. As a result, they’ll be at the forefront of your mind when you speak to women.

7 – Write a journal

Writing a journal is an excellent way to eliminate the unresolved crap that’s swimming around in your head. In fact, it’s been scientifically proven that writing out your emotions releases them. But, you won’t sit, write, think, sit, write and think. You’re gonna sit and write without stopping for 5 minutes. I’m serious. Don’t stop once for the entire exercise. Let your subconscious mind speak through you; as I said, you’ll release negative crap in the process. You’ll be surprised by how much you learn about yourself from doing this.

8 – Write gratitude lists

Simple daily acts of gratitude can significantly impact your health, happiness, and success with women. However, it’s not enough to decide to be grateful. We must actively practise it to cement its place in our lives.

It only takes a few minutes a day, but it can give you a lasting mood boost that can take you from feeling OK to excellent regularly.

Simply list everything you’re grateful for in life, from the small things like your favourite TV show or sweater to big things like the people closest to you.

Do this regularly and watch how differently you feel about yourself and how differently people (women especially) react to you.

And with that, I conclude this post. Thanks for reading. Everything listed here will transform your life if you’re committed so dive in and give it your all. Ciao for now, human.

I’ll be back.

Excelsior,

Ciaran

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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